not fighting doesn’t make you perfect though. I read the most incredible thing the other day that explained how it’s easy to fall in love. You don’t actually have to DO anything. That’s why they call it “falling.” It’s a force happening to you, you aren’t required to do anything for it to happen. In fact, you can’t control it even if you wanted to. But after you fall because that’s inevitable and the ground always finds you, it’s about putting in the effort and actively participating in making the relationship work. Shannon and I just have a really incredible relationship of open communication and understanding. We talk to each other, we listen to each other, we put EFFORT into it and WORK for each other. We don’t freak out when things are bumpy or not as easy. We understand that relationships take work and we both agree that we are worth that effort and work. There will be days were I bug the shit out of her and days were she pisses me off. Days where I’m moody and bitchy and snap for no reason or when she doesn’t make enough time for me or I don’t notice something obvious that I should. We are human, we will mess up, we will argue, disagree and fight. WE ARE HUMAN! What makes relationships work and last is understanding that and recognizing our own flaws and the others flaws and accepting each other for who we are yet also helping each other grow into even better people each and every day. I will work for her, I will be here for her, I will admit I’m wrong after arguing I’m right for hours and being stubborn, I will let little dumb things go, and bring her a diet dr. pepper and cashew melt away after I was ‘nasty’ when I woke up late and got anxiety. I just get so sad when people expect things to be peaches and cream. Overcoming obstacles is incredible. It makes you so much stronger in the end. Fights are normal, arguing constantly and butting heads isn’t. With Shannon’s hand linked in mine I KNOW we can overcome anything, including internal issues.
But back to your question….yes, we fight but we are both so damn reasonable (her more so than me) that they don’t last very long. We discuss our issues. We explain to each other why we are upset or hurt and we make it better ASAP! Easy as that. Obviously if we have an argument we aren’t going to do it through tweets or tumblr posts, that’s just fucking dumb. What you see of people online is the BEST aspects of them. We use filters on our pictures, we write lovey posts. That doesn’t mean we have better lives or that everything is always perfect, but obviously that’s the side you are going to see! I think this is so important for everyone to understand because as much as I know our journeys of growing up gay and us being a femme lesbian couple really has helped others accept themselves, at the same time I worry so much that people are scared that their life isn’t good enough bc it’s not as “perfect” as mine or shans. Please keep in mind that what you see online is such a minute aspect of our lives. You don’t even see a small fraction of what comprises our reality. We have all dealt with adversity and hardship. You may not see it but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. So don’t ever feel down if your life seems a little less than perfect. In the end, it’s only making you better.
Sorry for the rant, I just want people to realize that relationships take work. There are many stages in relationships and they are all different and take adaption and patience and effort. And NEVER compare yourself to others, especially people you do not know completely or personally.
I’m going to burn sports authority field to the ground with everyone in it.
Let’s see how many people on tumblr